Many individual’s embark on counselling for relationship difficulties when they notice similar insecure patterns re-occurring, causing relationship breakdown.
Counselling for relationship difficulties
Breakdown in relationships have their origins in earlier attachment disturbances and are re-played in adult relationships, where their earlier pain is re-enacted. Many lack the belief that partners will be there for them, stemming from their past attachments and are suspicious that lovers will abandon them, so they are constantly looking for this and trying to avoid it. For instance, many clients will say they felt loved and wanted at the beginning of their relationship, but somehow their partner is no longer there. They are confused as why this pattern keeps replaying itself in relationships, where they feel alone. They often feel that there is something wrong with them, so they seek re-assurance or want answers from their partner. When a spouse is no longer accessible in a relationship, the individual may try to draw them back in, with a range of defensive manoeuvres, to ward off past pains of rejection. Sometimes these protective strategies actually push their partner further away. Some react to perceived signs of rejection, becoming angry or accusatory, to ward off feeling of hurt, creating relationship difficulties. Many act jealous or insecure by reading into things that are not even there, since they may have insecure attachment and mistrust relationships, stemming from feeling unworthy. Many cannot get touch with these inner feelings and act angry, jealous, possessive or controlling of their partners whereabouts; instead of show they’re fearful of getting hurt. So their partner becomes afraid, drained, and finds ways to get space, until it pushes the partner away. Sometimes it further escalates into fights or breakup. Perth’s relationship counselling services for individuals can deal with ways to manage these difficulties, by working through these relational dynamics, so they do not re-occur.
Many of these styles of relating are often out of our awareness, until they repeat themselves over again. Psychotherapy and relationship therapy can help those uncover these relating patterns so they can see how they are no longer protecting them, but working against them.
Relationship insecurities can re-enact our past hurts
Our earliest internal experiences of relationships forms the templates of how we see relationships, of whether we can trust others to be there for us or not. If we felt ignored, we might feel unwanted of love and may pine to be be good enough or loved, but fearful that being in a relationship can lead to feelings of not being good enough and reading into things this way. If we could not trust those to be there for us, this may lead to reacting to perceived situations of abandonment, evoking old feelings of worthlessness, in a way that may re-create relationship breakdown.
Resolve relationship patterns that create stuckness
Some people have left a marriage but continue to feel hurt and anger. Others find break up’s are hard to get over and cannot move on. Psychotherapy allows those to explore their relationship patterns to better understand the part they play in the couple union. Counselling for relationship difficulties can assist those to process these responses, so they can move forward with life, let go.
Don’t let repetitive relationship disturbances hold your life back
Leaving home, moving in together, birth of a child, separation, formation of step families and retirements, are all life transitions that can become difficult, since they evoke loss or separation fears. Relationship difficulties occur if these events are not successfully negotiated . Sometimes individuals require counselling adjusting to these events and process them, so they do not become stuck at these difficult points in the life cycle. Therapy or psychotherapy often explores areas of stuckness, so that a smooth transition can occur.
Call: 0449 861 147 or use the quick consultation enquiry form, for enquiries or appointments for counselling for Relationship difficulties.