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Counselling for Affairs in Perth

What are the causes of affairs

What are the causes of affairs? Many couples have affairs, which takes them away from underlying issues in the relationship or within themselves. Sometimes an affair reflects unexpressed needs or hurt that was unexpressed in the relationship and gets played out indirectly.

  • After trying to captivate each other during the honeymoon period, individuals begin to see the real person, which can be disappointing when the excitement is over.
  • Some hope the relationship will be everything they look for and have an affair when their hopes can’t be reached.
  • Many do not communicate their needs by avoiding conflict and have an affair to met their unmet needs.
  • At difficult times in the relationship, it can be easier to escape the problems in the marriage, by seeking comfort and avoid facing problems.
  • Many try to fix problems in their relationship by moving on with an affair, hoping the problems will go away; ‘out of mind out of sight’. In actual fact,  you bring your ‘self’ in every relationship, often repeating patterns, so the problems do not go away.
  • It troubling moments, finding someone new can take their mind off the problems of life, momentarily, until they have to clean up the mess created by an affair.
  • Some negate their self so much that they build resentment when one’s needs aren’t met, then act out their anger by having an affair
  • Some have an affair to show  how hurt they feel, as some form of revenge, or test the relationship in order to see if their partner will fight for them
  • Some let marital issues go for so long, that they feel there is not point and move on with an affair, to exit their relationship.

Infidelity often occurs at difficult times in the marriage, such as having a baby or losing a job. Some are left feeling alone or out of their comfort zone. Some are left feeling deflated coping with life crises, and want something to make them feel better. Many feel the pressures and responsibilities get in the way of the relationship, when they feel they’re no longer noticed or important to their spouse. Many avoid how they feel, not wanting to appear needy or vulnerable. It may feel easier  to act on an tempting encounter that provides some temporary comfort,  to distract them from facing issues in their marriage and avoid feelings.

Infidelity often presents more problems, as the affair only provides a temporary reality escape rather then a way to move forward. Having adultery amplifies the problems, with the lies and mistrust.

Often people who cheat attend individual therapy to work out which pathway they should take and deal with the intoxicating  guilt, when they face the reality of splitting up their family.

Many come to Counselling in Perth, once they get caught having an affair, so they can rebuild their relationship. In my many years as a couples counsellor and therapist, I’ve seen how not addressing the affair creates more difficulties for the couple down the track, when anger and resentment kicks in, after the affair.

Affairs; Mistrust, Jealousy and InfidelityCouples Counselling for Affairs

Providing counselling for affairs in Perth, I have noticed that mistrust or insecurity can cause one to act peculiarly, such as searching for  evidence of cheating. In some situations, spouses can read into things that do not exist, when their own insecurities get in the way. Other times, spouses can ignore signs of an affair, or put the infidelity out of their mind to cope, pretending it didn’t exist. In these instances they put up with it, rather than deal with it, so it remains unresolved.

Is the mistrust or jealousy based on reality or fantasy?

  • Is there any real evidence to suggest your partner is being unfaithful? Are your insecurities getting in the way of your relationship, looking into things that are not there, becoming paranoid?

How to recover from an affair?

  • By blindly accepting your relationship and forgiving your partner can let them get away with it and enable the affair to continue to replay. Like addictions, cheating is a form of denial and acting out and therefore the adulterer has to be made accountable for change to take place. If the issues remain unresolved within the individual and in the marriage, effective change cannot take place.
  • Sometimes affairs signal that things are not working in the marriage. Rather than running away to escape the problems, perhaps its time to sort ones self out, with individual therapy or work on the relationship in couples therapy.
  • Minimising the affair  or accepting a partner back does not necessarily resolve issues, without help.
  • Some partners shut out the affair to block it out,  end up bitter or try harder to please the cheating spouse; in which  case none of these options repair the relationship. Many attend individual therapy to work through the intense pain and work out a resolution.

We offer individual counselling for those who are having an affair, to deal with the underlying issues in order to ways to move forward. Meanwhile many who have been impacted by an affair seek therapy to deal with the emotional trauma and move forward within themselves.

Couple Counselling for Affairs in Perth

Counselling for affairs in Perth can assist couples to manage the intensive emotional hurt and assist express this in a way that builds understanding

Couples counselling can assist to understand how the couple became stuck, so they can worked through  issues, in order to overcome relationship difficulties. While addressing how they each contributed to the couple dynamci.   Therapy can build a stronger foundation for couples in order to contain the emotional upheaval caused by a affair.

Contact Counselling in Perth for our Affairs Counselling Services

Please call: 0449 861 147 or use the quick consultation form.

For counselling for affairs in Melbourne  contact counselling in Melbourne